JR and I went into survival mode.
My yoga practice suffered.
My meditations dwindled.
Eating habits became go-to takeaway spots.
Our anxiety levels shot through the roof.
And my ongoing battle with depression picked up where it had left off only a few of years before.
The magic carpet had officially been yanked from under me.
And for a handful of months there, I was struggling with the apparent fact that I would no longer be able to focus my most blissful energies solely on bringing the passions of others to fruition.
When I found myself unemployed January of 2016, it truly felt as if I had only two options:
Option #1 - Hide. Wait it out. 5 million creative, ultra-passionate people around the world will forget about all this in a few months right? WRONG.
These people were and are still amazing, beautiful humans. From collaborators to some of the most intrinsically rewarding friendships, they've stuck with me.
I have expressed tears of joy on more than one occasion in response to their unending support coming in from all corners of the globe. (But more on this later...)
Option #2 - Keep. Moving. Forward. Put my money where my mouth is. Pour my savings into supplies. Start my business. Fake it til' I make it. Hustle until my haters ask if I am hiring. All of the badassery.
Except... it was really f*cking scary! And I felt lost on my own, without the support (and security) of a team behind me.
I realized that up to this point, I'd merely been existing within my dreams. I hadn't really been 'living' them. While working for a fast-paced creative startup, much of my job was communicating with seriously A-M-A-Z-I-N-G creatives, changemakers, explorers, innovators, and entrepreneurs in order to share their story to a community of makers around the world who are constantly in search of tangible inspiration. In search of hope.
I fell in love with these people's stories. With their struggles. I guess you could say true love is what ultimately released me from my self-inflicted case of impostor syndrome. It was during this time in my life that I finally understood what I needed to do: Go.